Abstract

This article presents a close reading of the ironic present and nostalgic nature of the Pakistani family system through a postmodern lens. Haider’s  How it happened depict irony and nostalgia in a new and postmodern manner. This novel exposes the ironized culture of the Pakistani family system and the nostalgic nature of societal relationships. This is descriptive research, and data is analyzed theoretically. The theoretical framework of this research is based upon the theory of irony and nostalgia in term of postmodernism, by Linda Hutcheon in her dialogical article Irony, Nostalgia, and Postmodernism: A Dialogue, where two terms irony and nostalgia has been treated with a new and unique perspective. This research investigates how our concepts and views about different things in life get change with the passage of time. This research article concludes that the ostentatious rejection of the past is not possible; nostalgia can consciously be denied but deeply felt.

Key Words

Ironic Present, Nostalgic Past, Postmodern, Conceived Realities, Family System

Introduction

The concept of irony in literature is quite old and being used in different ways with different concepts in different time periods. The simple definition of irony is a technique of description about character plot and development of an attitude opposite to that which is actually stated.  The irony is the difference between appearance and reality when you say something by mean of something else. The origin of irony is quite old from the Greek time period. The Greek meaning of irony is hypocrisy, pretended ignorance and not knowing, in a detailed sense, is a stylistic device, literary technique, or event in which what appears on the surface is always differs fundamentally from what is actual reality. The irony is divided into distinct and various categories, like verbal irony, dramatic irony, and situational irony. 




Postmodern Irony

As far as irony in the postmodern context is concerned, it is called post irony. In postmodern irony, something is meant to be bitterly mocked and not taken seriously, and in a new scenario, something is meant to be taken seriously, which is not serious. Post-irony mix two major elements like something absurd and senseless issue taken seriously, and serious issue taken as lightest one, like in postmodern scenario death is a serious issue which is tackled in the lightest way as Woolf (1927) To The Light House describe the death of the protagonist is just one line, Mrs Ramsay next day was sleeping only bed’s one side was empty. Postmodern irony includes the element of humor and absurdity. There are many more misconceptions about irony in postmodernism that it is the end of irony now, but according to Hutcheon’s view in postmodern time there is more irony now. it is not end of irony but actually excess of irony and this phenomenon is called doubling of irony where we claim to be unironic but actually we are more ironic.“ but there is a lot of irony ,may be too much irony, that is what you have been trying to think through last few years”(Hutcheon,1998). Postmodernism defines irony as conjunction between said and unsaid. Irony always plays politics because politics deals with diplomacies. Haider used the tool of irony to convey the social and political behavior of society.  Haider’s character of Dadi is totally ironic, where she is using family traditions and norms as an ironic statement.




Nostalgia an Attempt to Return to Past

As far as the matter of nostalgia is a concern in a simpler sense, nostalgia is one’s lingering for past, one’s attachment of past moments and memories. In different times there came different definitions of nostalgia; emotional attachment with a place or thing and associations with specific time is in man’s instinct. In the Greek time period, nostalgia means to homecoming one’s attachment to the home, because Greek time was consider wartime and age of soldiers and soldiers were always away from home they were nostalgic about the time which they had to spend with family that’s why Greek nostalgia was associated with homecoming. In 17century, nostalgia was being considered a painful activity, an emotion that causes disturbance. It was considered as a psychological problem a kind of disordered personality means wistful yearning of past, man always lost in the past in warm childhood and in good old days. Some modern studies critique the idea of nostalgia, that modernism means to not follow and think about past many modern people avoid the historical facts. People avoid the past and want to move on they think past is rubbish this present is perfect with lots of development and inventions.

Postmodern nostalgia is basically a form of ironic nostalgia. Where people superficially claim to be not nostalgic but actually they think about past idealized the past and think about the perfectness of past. In postmodern era people having major disruptions and uncertainties in their life style due to which they nostalgically longed for the past, but apparently the seems to neglect the past. Hutcheon divided nostalgia into different categories like positive nostalgia, negative nostalgia, and imperial nostalgia. Positive nostalgia is thinking about past in glorious manners when you think past was beautiful and memories are sweet while negative and regressive nostalgia is when you think past was so bad you have bad and hurting memories with past you take past as a brutal thing.” There are of course many ways to look backwards. You can look and reject it. Or you can look and linger longingly”(Hucheon,1998). Means if you look back and reject it is negative nostalgia. But in Haider’s How it Happened family wants to go back to past traditions and follow it.

Theoretical Framework: Hucheon’s Theory of postmodern Ironic Nostalgia

 Hutcheon’s concept of Irony and Nostalgia serves as the framework of this research in which the elements of the Ironic present and the Nostalgic past are taken as a central and problematic narrative to describe and analyzed to evaluate the selected novels by Irony and Nostalgia at the formal level. Further analysis is used to show how these features are highlighted certain themes like sociological understanding of the current wave of nostalgic expressions haunting late-modern Western culture and to re-evaluate the predominantly negative assessment of nostalgia which is postmodern concept. Filling two gaps in the existing research on nostalgia, the authors wish (1) to incorporate into the phenomenon on its experiential and collective dimensions and (2) to propose a theoretical sociological framework capable of analyzing nostalgic ritual in Pakistani culture and politics. In the first part of the research, there is a discussion on different approaches to the phenomenon of nostalgia. Second part develops into the complex emotional and experiential aspects of nostalgia and distils three different types of nostalgia in postmodern scenario. Irony can be playful and sportive daily element, or it can be used to highlight and point out the absurdity or severity of serious situations of daily life. By the 1990s, irony had exploded onto the pop culture scene and it was called end of irony. In fact, it had become so popular that it seemed to have lost its impact and people even start talking about the end of irony, especially in the immediate wake of 9/11. For some critics, irony seemed to have no place in the very real horror of this tragedy which destroyed the world power. Irony can always be an effective literary device: it may lay low for a while, but it always returns.  In this research major focus is the study of Hutcheon’s concept of ironic nostalgia, where our present is ironic and past is nostalgic.




Nostalgia and irony in Pakistani family system in Haider’s How It Happened: A postmodern Study 

Shazaf  Fatima Haider is a young Pakistani writer and a teacher. She came on the literary scene as a novelist in 2012 with her super famous debut novel How It Happened. This research deals with the issue of postmodern irony and nostalgia present in How It Happened. How far Haider is successful in portraying irony and past recollections through humor, satire, norms and tradition is a major concern.   

How It Happened (2012) is warm humoured, highly entertaining and beautifully sustained piece of fiction. Haider has built a story in Pakistani society about a well off family-like Jane Austen; she is dealing with a drawing-room issue and mould it in spicy bites of humor and make religion and traditions as a villain in the matter of love marriages. She uses simple language to convey a difficult and delicate matter of marriages. Complications of Pakistani society, norm bonded culture and traditional strictness is the key factor of this work. Story revolves around a Bandian family through the eyes youngest and witty sibling. This is a romantic, amusing and utterly delightful story about how marriages are made and unmade by family and society. Haider has beautifully portrayed the funny, witty and sarcastic character of an old lady and head of family Dadi. She is always encountered by nostalgia through past recollections of her sweet memories of marriage. The family have two generations; one is consist of Dadi’s children, and other consists of grandchildren. This work is ironic in the sense Dadi wants both of generations should act and behave like same manners she never accept that time has changed now generation gap could not be overcome but the help of remembering past. This generation has not a problem every generation have had their problems. Always upcoming generation has its own norms which are different from the previous one. Making two generations the same and compelling new generation to behave and act like the old is not possible. Dadi wants to make this impossible issue possible.

Dead past is living in Dadi’s Memories

Dadi is the head of the family a very sensitive person about norms, traditions and religious issues. Haider had portrayed Dadi’s character like Sara Sulleri has portrayed in Meatless Days. Sulleri’s Dadi was religious and always sit on prayer mate and think about her past and son. And Haider’s portrayal of Dadi is the same she sit on a prayer mat, offer prayers and lost in her past and tell the tales of her family to the grandchildren who are fed by the same stories daily. Postmodernism rejects the aspect of nostalgia that people are too busy with their life, and they don’t have time to think about the past and memories. Thinking about the past is a conservative approach, and postmodernism rejects this approach. But when we find the present dissatisfied, we think about the past and past seems perfect; postmodern nostalgia is ironic in a sense we don’t want to get nostalgic, but we are actually nostalgic about the perfectness of the past. Dadi always thinks about her past and want that past should come back. “The postmodernism does indeed recall the past, but always with the kind of ironic double vision that acknowledges the final impossibility of indulging in nostalgia, even as it consciously invoke nostalgia’s effective power”(Hutcheon,1998,p.23).It is not possible for a human being to completely forget the past and live in the present man unconsciously wants to return back to his past; whether it is good or bad, it is part of one’s life. Haider starts her work with memories of Dadi first chapter’s title,’ How Dadi Got Carried away’ all about being nostalgic. This the history of Dadi’s family and how Dadi got married” Dadi was considered a veritable spinster in her day because her marriage had been arranged and then un-arranged three times” (Haider, 2012,p.1).It was the story of Dadi how she got married, how she met beautiful handsome dada in a romantic way. Bandians family was very strict about their ancestral heritage. Dadi herself was bound to traditions of the family; at that time, girls at the age of sixteen got married, and few of them have at least have two or three babies.If a girl is single at the age of sixteen it was considered bad omen she will remain single because after sixteen she becomes over aged, this is irony of present time girl at sixteen do not consider mature enough to get married.”And there I was, unmarried. Toba, those were terrible days, I can still remember. The local midwife, who also procured proposals for girls in our village, said it was I wasn’t fair like milk” (Haider,2012,p.2). Dadi remember a time when she was young and unmarried and there was a midwife in the village who after producing babies to many women work as a part time to find out marriage proposal of girls for unmarried young girls about Dadi she had a view that she is not fair like a milk, every mother want a daughter in law of fair complexion so that their generation could be fair. Here one important thing which Haider is pointing towards our attention that we are under the impact of colonizer. As Babah’s concept of mimicry, we somehow mentally could not get free ourselves from the spell of colonizeras they were fair and white and we think that if we will be fair or white we will considered batter persons. Dadi was not getting good match because she was not fair enough.”But my mother knew the real reason why I wasn’t married yet. It was evil eye! Hai the number of species she burnt to undo its evil effects!”(Haider,2012,p.2   Shaleha narrator of the novel tells that it was Dadi’s hobby to remember her past every night I used to lay down in Dadi’s lap and listen her stories which take me into Dadi’s past I listen one story and wait for another one passionately.”Bhukurajian tale-one of many my grandmother told every night before dinner, firing up my imaginations and taking me into the world of her past, where she had been teenager”(Haider,2012,p.2). nostalgia has many types it could be regressive it could be pleasant and soothing in case of Dadi, nostalgia is about beautiful perfect pastand she want to bring that time back through their grandchildren’s marriage. It is Dadi’s routine that every night she shares he past memories with her family members. Dadi was a beautiful lady and she still considers herself beauty queen; the reason is that for her time stop there when she was young and beautiful, she never tried to come out of that time because she loves her past. She tells us she got few proposals. The story of Dadi was a very romantic one. Dada saw Dadi in the garden where she used to visit daily to pluck jasmine flowers. Dad was impressed by Dadi’s stunning beauty, and was standing behind the Dadi suddenly, when she saw someone on her back, she was about to fall in the bush of motia flowers, but dada has scooped up her into his arms, he saw and fall in love with her long eye lashes and moist lips. The story is not ending here but a great interval dada sent a proposal to Dadi’s house. All of family members got agree easily because of few reasons, dada belongs to shia family, he had a good job, and marriage was arrange not love. Because in Dadi’s family good girls do not love. Ironically Dadi had a love marriage in arrange way by her parents.

Many references of Jane Austen can be found in this novel regarding marriage, society, class, and love and parents potential concern about their children’s future. Haider explore issues of young girls and boys who are living in traditional educated family, urban and modern society, where marriages are always arranged by their parents.Selection of suppose have long checklist of requirement which include cast, class, same religion sect, and beautifulness. This is modern Pakistani society whereas Jane Austen was concerned with these issues in Victorian age. Haider is nostalgic in one sense because she is taking back the readers to Victorian age by giving direct references of Jane Austen and she is ironic because our Pakistani society in spite of living in this postmodern age still follows the rituals of Victorian age.  In simple words we can labels Pakistani modernism ironically nostalgic. In chapter nine Zeba the elder sister was reading famous novel by Jane Austen and she is imagining herself in that time and relating her situation with her condition” Before he knew it, Aslam bhai was staring the drawing of Elizabeth Bannet refusing Mr.Collins’s proposal on the book’s cover as Zeba Baji shielded her face from his to indicate that the conversation was over”(Haider, 2012, p.104). Zeba is not interested in Aslam bhai one of her first cousin like Elizabeth was not interested in Mr.Collin because he was not handsome man and same case was with Zeba Baji she don’t like him because of his chilly stupid nature he never act like a decent sober man and behave in uncivilized manners. He don’t love Zeba baji just he has been told since childhood that you will get married to zeba, that’s why he was interested in herotherwise he has no interest in her, like Mr.Collin was superficially attracted to Elizabeth he has no deeper feelings of affection at all. Zeba hate Aslam bhai’s manners because he call her’ Janoo’ a very awkward word to call someone, he is very talkative person like historical character of Jane Austen. According to Dadi’s conservative view if boy is less beautiful then a girl he will live in complex and will think that girl is precious for her, and will love more and girl could control him like a horse. A fool man proof good husband if he has an intelligent wife. This was Dadi’s nostalgia but modern world don’t agree with this view an intelligent girl can be handled by an intelligent boy, gone the days when parents married their daughter without even asking them. But Dadi want to apply that tradition which is not seems possible now. 

In Pakistani man stereotypical society in spite of modernism still boys areconsider superior to the girls. Now scenario has changed to some extent but not fully. Dadi love Haroon more than Shaleha and Zeba because he is boy.” My brother is the second apply of my dadi’s eye because he apparently looks remarkably like Fareed Chaccha”(Haider,2012,p.17). Dadi love Haroon more than anyone in the family the main reason was he resembles with one of Dadi’s son. Dadi loves her sons more than her daughters. This is a conservative approach. She is very possessive about Haroon’s study, his beauty and most important thing about his marriage. She thinks that her Haroon is most handsome and perfect boy of the family he could be ideal of any girl. Many mothers of family were thinking that Haroon should be their son in Law but Dadi was not interested in all tom dicks and harries, girls were not perfect like Haroon. Like “Doesn’t my Haroon look like a prince”(p.19).

Haider has sketched out a pure Pakistani culture in her novel where mother in law always have a problem with daughter in law. It might be due to oedipal complex that mother could not bear a girl with her son because it is view of Pakistani mothers that a son gets change after marriage. They listen to their wives most then their mothers, so mother could not bear this ignorance and in this way she blames the wife of her son that you are the major cause that my son got change. In this way an unending war starts. This case has beautifully described by Haider where there are complications but not at the level of fight. Dadi has problem with her daughter in law but she pretend that she love her a lot so that she can get a good reputation in the circle of sardonic relatives. Dadi got nostalgic when all of her grandchildren were kid, how she used to help her daughter in law to bring them up.” Dadi had great fondness for telling everyone how she had helped her daughter-in-law bring up her children, when all she had done was issue instructions from her chair and expect them to followed”(Haider,2012,p.22).Dadi used to tell tales everyone, either someone is getting boring by her words she will never bother about that, she praise herself in front of relatives that she is very good and cooperative mother in law, who has helped her daughter in law in every matter. She herself could not bring up all the children alone, it is me who helped her in every matter she followed my footsteps that’s why she is able to give proper education and sense to the children. Dadi gets nostalgic and tell I spent sleepless nights when my grandsons were young. I cared them morethan their mother. Dadi’s unconditional love was fictitious for their grandchildren.

The major issue of Pakistani Muslims is demographic breakdown of religion into different sects, although there are differences between traditions, norms, family histories, and family cultures but Quran and Hadith is same for all, Shias don’t accept this sameness. They have different opinion about Hadith. In recent few years Shia Sunni relationships have been increasing marked by conflicts. Haider has tried to explore those religious issues in hidden words. Dadi is pure Shia women who never like to hear a word about Sunni at home. Saleha share her experience when she was four years ago she was told that there are two angles who sits on left and right shoulders of everyone and write down their whole days deed.” I used to talk to my imaginary friend when I was four, when I studied Islamiat I learnt that the munkar-nakeer was only supposed to record the deeds of person whose shoulder they were ensconced on” (Haider,2012,p.57). Shaleha is nostalgic about her past when she was four years old her islamia teacher has told her that there are two angels who record human activities in written form. Something hit upon her mind and she start thinking about her past and when she was four she thought that munaker-nakeer are very good friend of Dadi because Dadi is very religious lady and offer prayers regularly. When she asked about this issue Dadi replied that” my Islamite teacher was Sunni and didn’t know her religion very well”(p.57).She has a conservative view about religion that Sunni people have less knowledge of religion. Dadi is a sticky person as she doesn’t want to leave her past and her religious views too.

Haider’s beautiful suppositions and delineations about past traditions made the reader aware that past was interestingly adventurous. Here she is discussing critical issues about Haroon’s marriage. After rejecting a longest list of girls Dadi agree upon Haroon’s choice. This girl samia is Haroon’s colleague. He is in love with her but Dadi was strictly against the love marriages. But in case of Haroon after lots of troubles she got agree to see this girl. When Dadi came to know that this girl can’t cook she got so surprised that our past was good when girls at the age of sixteen know all manners of cooking and house hold. Dadi is not accepting this present she says that this time is not good our time was perfect when mother focused upon the proper trainings of the girls” what kind of training are today’s mothers are giving their daughters? Just giving a general disclaimer like that and thinking their duty is over?”(Haider,2012,p.71).She says now a day’s mothers got lazy to train their girls for marriage. Marriage is not a formality it is the name of responsibility and how could that girl will fulfill her responsibility when she don’t even know the basic need of family that is cooking.Worthier girls know all households and know how to manage their tasks and in which cooking is priority. Dadi again and again saying to Haroon that don’t marry this girl you are going to be a biggest mistake. She gets nostalgic about her past” In my time, things were different! The boy’s family used to send the girl a ball of knotted wool and the faster she unknotted it, the worthier she was”(Haider,2012,p.71). Here she share a beautiful and tricky element of her time on which bases girls were selected for marriages. They were assigns some knots to untie it as much fast she will do it as much wise she is, this was a kind of intelligence test which they have to pass with good marks. A girl here who doesn’t know the recipe of simple chiken karahiwhat is the guarantee that she would know all other matters about how to handle deals with in laws. 

It is common observation that new generation always has different rules and fashions then the previous generation. Old people thinks that their time was best while new generation have some contrsadictions about views, fashions, norms and customs because generation gap could not be filled. Haider shows contradictions of opinions, customs and tradition between two generations where Dadi wants to impose here values upon grandchildren and grandchildren are modern generation they think that Dadi talk about old fashioned things which hurt Dadi a lot. She is unable to understand that this is not her time. She has left her time behind.” You will wear a sharwani with a turban on your head. And let me tell you now before you protest, you will wear a shera of roses when you come in, I don’t care what you say!”(Haider, 2012, p.92). Dadi is trying to impose her traditions on her grandson. She is compelling him to wear what is out dated now, for her time is not change, or might be she wants to bring her time back. Haroon is not agreeing with Dadi’s choice he thinks that he will look horrible and stupid in this get up. Dadi got hurt by his words and start weeping. She is not ready to accept that her timehas gone now. She is forcefully imposing her traditions on her grandson. Actually she is nostalgic about her time when Dada was groom. He wore flowers on his face and Dadi wants that Haroon must look like his Dada. Sometimes a thing is highly accepted in one generation and strongly rejected by previous generation. When Zeba baji got married out of family and religious context it was good news for us but bad for older people of Bandains.”  My sister is her generation’s heroineand previous generation’s nightmare” (Haider,2012,p.310).

Love never grows old and who love by heart and deeply never die of old age they die young because love is a passion that never let a man to be week and feeble.When you have long term deep attachment with anyone it becomes so difficult toforget that person and when a person is so sticky to its past it is impossible for him or her to forget the time which they have spent together. Dadi was deeply in love with dada she says best love is which you do after a marriage. Now days you people never have that true love there is all fakeness in word love. As Shaleha asked Dadi.” Didn’t you love Dada? I was fond of him. That’s all there is, fondness and companionship, none of that bookish nonsense about “soulmates” and whatnot; all this just a product of hormonal imbalance”( haider,2012,p.221).Dadi’s conservative view about love is really amazing and true. When she asked she love dada she said that she was his fan. At that time there were no love poems, no cell phones and no dating love was pure and deep. People felt fear to express their love but now they express it too if they are not in love. Presentlove is mere a hormonal imbalance while in past love was purest and clean like crystal clear mirror. In the matter of love past was perfect. If Dadi want to return back that time she is some extent right in her views.

Haider has beautifully explained the pervious century’s customs and traditions through Dadi’s nostalgic character. Modern life for an instance demands us to look back to analyze that what we were and what we are now. There were many things in past which were better than now. There were many traditions which are screaming and demanding us to please return to your roots. A good and civilized society never leaves its roots.

Ironic Culture of Pakistani Family System

Haider has successfully depicted the element of irony in Pakistani culture.How it Happened is set in contemporary Pakistani society where traditions struggle to reconcile with changing times. None of Pakistani novelist could be escaped from spell of irony. Haider tried to create humor by using the tool of irony.This novel hasabundant lines which show situational irony. Dadi‘s conversation is filled with verbal irony, that how Pakistani culture is traditionally bound everyone wants an escape but apparently they pretend that they are satisfied. Hutcheon’s concept of irony focused on doubling of irony in which said and unsaid rub together to create irony. “ irony is not something in an object  that you either get or fail to get, irony happens for you when two meanings, one said  and other unsaid come together”(Hutcheon,1998,p.20). The difference between appearance and reality in Pakistani culture can be easily found out. Many of Dadi’s expectations prove wrong in How It Happened. Dadi thinks that her grandchildren are traditionally bound and will follow what she says but three of them did against Dadi’s will.  Haider has discussed great irony by using religious issue of Shia and Sunni which is hot issue in Pakistan now. People in spite of worshiping one God are divided by religious sects at the extremist level.

Dadi is the protagonist of How It Happenedas her character is extremely nostalgic she is also ironic in all senses. In the dress of irony she conveys great meanings. Haider treat many time Dadi’s view ironic. Dadi is really possessive about choosing a girl for Haroon; Shaleha is thinking how she had chosen our mother for our father. In modern time it is says that a family must be smaller; a women should produced just two children, because if she will have many children she could not be able to feed them properly and grow them properly. Modern women are frail. They could not produce dozen of children like women a century ago.” She was a woman of steely resolve and, no doubt, had a uterus made of same material, having given birth to six daughters and three sons”(Haider,2012,p.5). This is an irony of past when women produce so many children. In past, there was no objection on producing so many children; in fact a century ago government allots a piece of land to the father who was having seven sons. Dadi was also belongs to almost that age where women ironically have uterus made up of steel and they produced many children Dadi herself had six children and seven one died young at the age of ten. Dadi is iron lady who bear two greats wars and death of son and father and still seems normal.

Love marriage is the great irony of Bukhrajian family. Love before marriage is as prohibited as smoking for a person who is suffering from lung cancer and cancer is on the last stage. For Dadi love is a sin which have no forgiveness.” Dadi believed in few basic things: spices, prayers and arranged marriages (Haider,2012, P.7); same like Dadi of Sara Sulleri’s Meatless Days, she focused on food prayer and relations. Ironically Dadi in How It Happened gives priority just three things in life payers, spices, and arrange marriages. Nothing else exist in her love, she was a very good cook, she always offer payers, and element of arrange marriage. Its means that nothing else is Important in life, no love, no career no friends, no gatherings? Actually biggest irony of past was life was no mechanical at all people have lots of time and less activities that’s why Dadi view was wrong according to postmodern context. As far as matter of arranging marriages is concern Dadi’s view was” there was greater romance in arranged marriages than in the irrational immortality of love marriage” (Haider, 2012,p.7) Dadi consider love marriage an immoral thing and ironically all of her grandchildren has done this immoral act. Haroon got married to a girl of his choice and Zeba baji got married to Omer a sunni boy of her choice. Ironically Dadi’s all predictions proved wronged.

Postmodernism demands that a man should get ready for unexpected results in life, because there are lots of uncertainties and chaos in this mechanical age. Things never happen according to our choices. Sometimes we are thinking to be a hero but prove zero. The same was the case with Dadi; she thinks that all of her grandsons and children would follow her advice and will never fall in love like” I know I haven’t raised my girls like that, no Baba! My girls will trust my judgment when the proposal comes their way, not run off in lust like wanton prostitutes with the first man who catches their way”( Haider,2012,p.8). Dadi’s whole expectations proved wrong. Here situational irony occurred. Everything happened against Dadi’s will. None of them agreed about Dadi’s choice; secondly, they fall in love, thirdly they dated, fourth Dadi’s own saying proved wrong that what mother and grandmothers select is always is better for girls. Dadi selected Gullan for Zeba and Gullen could not prove himself a good husband. So in this way, Dadi in spite of saying she has command in selection proved wrong. Again an irony she says that I have raised my girls like that they could not think of loving someone. Although there was lots of strictness from Dadi’s side but Zeba fall in love with Omer and she used to talk him on mobile all night. Shaleha was also in love with one of her class fellow. As far as Haroon was concerned, he got married one of his colleague, ignoring the fact that Dadi is not liking her choice. In simple word, ironically, all of Dadi’s predictions regarding her grandchildren proved wrong.

Dadi is very strict about norms and rules of family traditions, who always criticized her grandchildren that they are too modern. She doesn’t like Haroon’s dressing on his marriage. According to modern society Dadi is too conservative.Here irony is Dadi try to convince the grandchildren according to her personality but she was unable to mold her own daughters.” She is an editor of a women’s fashion magazine in Lahore and has taken to wearing sleeveless sari blouses and has the best figure I have ever seen in any fifty year-old women”(Haider,2012,p.12). Fatima phupo is a very modern women from all of Dadi’schildren. Her husband was a rich man, she never allows him to touch her that’s why they don’t have any baby, and ironically this is the drawback of arranged marriages. After the death of her husband she feels herself free. She is the editor of a fashion magazine and wears sleeveless dress. So the question is where is Dadi’s religious training and her traditions in the matter of Fati Phuppo, she is too advanced in her manners and never like to listen anyone’s opinions regarding her person matters. Dadi’s saying proves wrong that arrange marriages are long lasting and couples are passionate lovers, first they understand each other and then they fall in love, but ironically in case of fati phupo that understanding never developed if it was love marriage they would definitely have intimate understanding and on her husband’sdeath she would not feel herself free, but dejection.

Love marriage is a severe case in How It Happened, where love is lethal for young girls and boys. According to Dadi’s conservative views now a days there is no love exist, it is just a lusty relationship which could badly destroy family’s traditions and customs.” Fareed Chaccha: He also died before his marriage could be arranged. Dadi maintains that he died because he was about to love-marry”(Haider,2012,p.14).irony here is nobody die due to love marriage. Dadi think that love marriage is a bad omen; she is hurt by two things that Fareed died before marriage and he is died because he was about to get love marriage. But Fati Phuppo says that he was very handsome young man. He almost fall in love with every beautiful girl in university, but one day he fall in love with a girl name Ayesha who was Sunni and Dadi was not agree for this marriage. In spite of huge efforts Fareed Chaccha was not able to agree Dadi for this proposal. He was heartbroken left home and joined Army and one day died in a war. Dadi used to pray may he come back but she never regret that she must be agree about his love marriage. She said he died because he was about to love marriage but ironically he died because Dadi had not allowed him to love marriage. Dadi was strict about many issues of family like on the time of delivery of my mother. She created the issue that they will not visit a non-Shiadoctor for delivery.” In those days, except for a famous Parsi gynaecologist who was very western in her methods and therefore not visited by respectable families like Bandians”(Haider,2012,p.20). Sometimes strict rules and regulations destroyed generations, as Toni Morison’s Paradise deals with this issue that too much strictness compel the young generation to revolt against rules. As Connie and many other women had done and made their own beautiful paradise. Dadi’s strictness affected on the Shaleha and Zeba they fall in love with Sunni boys which was unbearable for Dadi. She is too tradition bonded that she doesn’t want her daughter in law’s delivery from a Parsi doctor who is in her manners and look seems western. Dadi had a tag that she belongs to a noble family, and she bound all members to behave nobly in their manners and show that they are Bandians Shia people who have a great historical background. But new generation wants an escape from this traditional boundness of culture.

Haider has used irony while describing the views about religion. Islam gives the message of equality for all, one religion for all the Muslim. But people have been divided into different religious sects. Everyone has its own religious norms and priority which Pakistani society is severely affecting. The fight between Shia Sunnifamilies is increasing day by day. As far as the matter of religion was concern Dadi was ultra-religious.” She made an occupation out of her religion”(Haider,2012,p.23). her usual routine of worship was like she is doing a job somewhere, it is her duty to pray to the God, is religion demand a duty from us? No, religion wants purity all sense, cleanness of heart and the most basic thing equality. Dadi don’t treat all people same, for her being Sunni is a sin and to get married with a Sunni. girl is the bigger sin ever. You could be called religious until you don’t follow it completely. Mere offering five times or sometimes six-time prayers is not enough when you are too conservative about other people’s religious sect; Islam is a progressive religion, give the message of equality and kindness to all human beings. But Dadi hates Sunni people after following the all religious priority she is ignoring the basic one. She used to awake up daily in midnight and offer ablution for almost forty five minutes and then she sit on prayer mat and a voice came out of his lips loudly” Alllaaaaaaaah’ that was both a call to God and complaint against her stiff joints”(Haider,2012,p.23). it was Dadi’s religion that she is mixing her pains to calling God or might be she is praying that may God make her pain vanish because she is offering prayers to please Him. After prayers it was Dadi’s habit to blow everyone face.It is irony that on every good occasion Dadi below on everyone so that they may remain safe so simply blowing can save you from troubles. it sees as Dad has appointed on blowing by our father that they pay her a handsome amount, she is too punctuate for doing her duty with sincerity and fashion, so in this way we can say that she had made religion her occupation.

Haider presented Pakistani society much backward in front of western societies, although this family is very broad in many senses like education, all of them are highly educated are doing good job they are financially strong. But they could not compete western low-class people too, because we are too committed to our roots. Haroon went to America for study and Dadi all the night pray that May Haroon come back safe and sound, without any white wife. On her prediction advanced Fati phuppo says that she work with designers who are mostly loves each other” Some bisexual but the rest__total homosexual I tell you. What would you do if Haroon comes not with daughter in law but s son-in-law? Wouldn’t that give the relatives something to talk”(Haider,2012,p.30). Haider describing ultra modernism of Pakistani society that upper class and fashion designers are gay. As Pakistani society don’t accept this kind of relationships but western societies take it as a routine matter and Fati is saying that if Haroon accepts their culture and fall in love with a boy instead of girl, what will you do? then ironically your prayer will comes true because he will bring a white daughter-in-law but a white son-in-law. Then what your relatives then comment upon

Marriages are ironic in Pakistan

Basic theme of How It Happened is tangle between love marriage and arrange marriage. A girl who is going to select should be perfect, but perfection is nowhere in this universe, everyone is living with minor or major imprecations, but here irony is Dadi want a perfect girl for Haroon. Dadi had a long list of requirement that a girl should have every quality which Dadi herself didn’t posses ever, even her daughter and granddaughters don’t have that perfection. According to Dadi a girl must be purely girl no lesbian, she must have good degree from good university. She must have degree from good university.” She must be a full virgin. Girls who have been kissed or have had a boy friend are only half virgins”(Haider,2012,p.32). Dadi want a fully virgin girl for Haroon who have not studied from any co-educational institute ignoring the fact that Haroon himself had studied from a co-edcation even from America where environment is quite open then Pakistan and Shaleha and Zeba also went to co-education. But Dadi’s main focus is not her family but those families where Haroon is going to married. Again she wantsa girl who doesn’t have a boy friend, because she is against the rules of making girl friend and boy friend. She proudly introduced her granddaughter that they don’t have any boyfriends but what was the reality she really don’t know Zeba was engaged in dating with a Sunni boy, all night she call him. Whereas the matter of Shaleha was concerned she was also interested in one of her class fellow. Dadi was materialist in the matter of selection of a girl for Haroon she says that girls should be from good family and father must be doctor, engineer and lawyers. She is conceding the element of goodness with someone’s good job means a person who is not a doctor engineer and good businessman could not be decent and good? Dadi was against that Haroon’s was getting married to a white girl but here ironically she is searching a white daughter in law. “Needless to say, she mustn’t be anything dazzlingly fair”(Haider,2012,p.33). Where are Dadi’s rules now? Girl’s perfection is associated with her moderate attitude not extremist one, she should not be too fashionable or nor too oldfashioned.” A balance between modesty and modernity is must”( haider,2012,p.33).

Haider tried to pore over many postmodern perspectives which shows positive attitude of this age like liberalism and rejection of many old traditions which cause problems for this generation. Sometimes man have to change his rules and traditions for the sake of betterment in relationships and society. Dadi who seems so strict ironically seems that she is malleable now but actually she is not” In dad’s case, it was the parents who arranged their marriages. But with Haroon bhai, a more liberal policy would obviously have to be devised”(Haider,2012,p.37). it was Dadi’s liberalism that she is giving lenient conditions about Haroon she got agree upon the Haroon’s choice in case she would be Dadi’s choice. Ironically when they went to see that girl she was not as much perfect as Dadi was thinking so. The most basic problem which Dadi notice with the girl was that she doesn’t know cooking at all; even don’t know the way to the kitchen. She do job which was against Dadi’s rules but she had accepted proposal because Haroon was insisting. She has to walk against her rules. Dadi want a rich girl because her parent can give him good dowry. But this postmodern time is negating this kind of old perspective of thinking, ironically we have more material then old-time but still we are more in want” oh, and there will be no dowry-showery, Dadi jan. We live in the twentieth century”(Haider,2012,p.37). but there are lots of ironies in the twentieth century as Hutcheon claims that, this is the time of end of irony but actually it the great start of irony.

Sometimes it is hard to face the reality especially for a person like Dadi who believes all of her family members are so tradition bonded and one day when trust broke out it was difficult to bear. Because things are always different from what it seems to be. It was ironically unbelievable for Dadi to bear all  that her granddaughter is going to ruin her family’s traditions.” Is my granddaughter, the little girl  changed and fed and raised with good Muslims values ACTUALLY OUT ON A DATE during MUHARRAM”(Haider,2012,p.199). This is the one of biggest ironic statement for bukhrajian family that her daughter was on Date and biggest news was in Muharram. She is going to commit this sin in the days of Muharram. For Dadi it was a great shock and Zeba baji was reacting normally, for her it was a common factbut for Dadi it is not less than a thunderstorm. Dadi is too sticky about her vales. When she caught Zeba dating, there were lots of girls and boys were sitting in western dresses—speaking English and eating western food taking hand in hands, which was unbearable scene for Dadi. It could be bearable if she move on with the passage of time and accept the changing values of modern culture.

Conclusion

Haider beautifully tried to point out the faults of Pakistani society and culture by using the tool of irony. For her too much tradition bonded culture cause problems man should be change with the changing time. Returning to one’s roots and traditions is good thing but if we try to focus more on past then present we will left behind in the progressing scenario of world. She has tried to create a balance between older generation and younger generations, between traditional norms and present values in an artistic way. 

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